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Warning on the Consumption
of Alcohol

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer
Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you can logically converse with other members of the opposite
sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your
ass kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll
over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than
most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance
in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
(Contributed by Ron Chenier,
Los Anjeles, U.S.A.)
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