Selected Jokes by Jay Leno
From The Tonight Show (NBC)

As you know, President Bush wants $87 billion for Iraq, $20 billion of which is going to rebuild their roads, their railroad bridges and their public buildings. Is there any way we can get California to declare war on the United States? You see, Bush could invade us, we can lose and we get money for our railroad bridges, our public buildings ... do you see what I’m saying?

Hey, did you hear about this? According to Social Security records, there are now people naming their children after cars. There are a lot of kids named Jaguar, Bentley and Mercedes, those are popular names now. That’s for kids in Beverly Hills. See, if you live in the valley, you’re kids are named Kia, Geo, Hyundai, it’s a little different.

Scientists in France announced last week they have successfully cloned a rat in the laboratory. This is great news for sports fans, because with stadium tickets going higher and higher, it’s nice to know at least the price of hot dogs will start to come down.

I don’t understand why these Democrats dislike President Bush so much. I mean, according to a new report, more than a million people sank into poverty last year. That’s a million more Democrats Bush has created, he’s giving them more voters every day. They should get down on their knees and thank God that more Democrats are being created on a daily basis.

Two suspected al Qaeda militants have been arrested in Pakistan. They were arrested at an internet café. Let me tell you something, if these guys were downloading music, they are in big trouble.

(end)

Khorsheed.com – Oct 2003